confusion

A lot of times I get confused about what my next step should be, but today I came across a verse in a book that I was reading. It gave me a glimmer of hope that I was not alone.

Hebrews 13:5

“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you”

Sumo Nabe Hotpot

Sometimes when people ask me what type of dance do I like best, I’m usually stumped. My first real foray into dance seriously was in Jazz. After entering NUS, I was much influenced by certain individuals, surrounded by their friends and started doing more hip hop.

Today, I like to think I waver between the two.

I don’t really have much to update now because my days are spent between going for job interviews, dance classes or rehearsals and bumming around. At this point of time, I hate how volatile my life is because I don’t have a career set out for me. As exciting as it may sound having lots of career choices available for you, it is a bitch to wait for phone calls and go for interviews.

I have been watching a lot of drama serials and reading books that situate themselves around love, betrayal and lies.And recently, I learnt the new meanings of lies. Like what exactly constitute a lie? Is a white lie that is not meant to harm but inconsequential still a lie? And also, just telling some parts of a truth, does it constitute a lie?

I have found a new love at Soup Spoon btw, it is called Sumo Nabe Hotpot. It’s not usually available on the regular menus of Soup Spoon but it was on this fortnight’s menu.

The soup base is somewhat like how a Shio ramen taste like, salty and milky. It’s cooked with soy milk and fortified with nutritious stuff my grandma adds in soups – chicken, cabbage and mushrooms.  I love the rich flavours of the soup but I think there’s a tad too much MSG in the soup and it appears oily to me. It’s a nice change for a fortnight if you frequent Soup Spoon.

Recently…

After two months of bumming around and chasing a “dream”, I kind of got a reality check and moved on with life. It wasn’t an easy choice definitely, I still want to head overseas ultimately but maybe, just maybe, the timing now isn’t right.

Then it was a full-on search for the perfect job in Singapore. At this point of time, I’m not really sure if I am suited for the corporate world – the interviews alone scare the crap out of me. Even at 22, sometimes I think, hey, maybe I’m just not “grown up” enough to do this crap. I can’t even park a car properly.

But we all have to grow up.

I recently had the courage to do something that I always wanted to. Again, it wasn’t an easy choice. I see my peers, my juniors and my seniors all foraging ahead in the dance scene because they love to dance and they yearn to improve. Somehow, I kind of lost the spark along the way.

For now, there are more important things for me like settling down in a job doing things that I enjoy doing. And also, to train in gymnastics and finally get my aerial and handsprings up. I’m not a pro at gymnastics, hell, I’m prolly the worst out there but I enjoy gymnastics a lot now. And like I said, I need to do something that I like and I enjoy. Some day, I want to be the one out there flipping across the stage.

Diary of a dancer

The diary of a dancer

3.13pm: A text message from my choreographer during Media Management class! He wants to remind us to be on time for rehearsal later or suffer the consequences.

5.45pm: The last bell for my class rings. Everyone shuffles around, packing up their books and stationary, discussing dinner plans. Me? I hurriedly swept my belongings into my trusty backpack.  With the amount of stuff I ferry around everyday, my shoulders ache if I use a satchel. I get ready to transform into my alter-ego that exists at night.

My volcom backpack

6.30pm: Half an hour left before my choreographers come. I scoff down the last of my dinner at AS7 and change into practice clothes. How come I don’t remember the steps taught at last rehearsal?

6.55pm: The mirrored glass at AS7 makes perfect practice venues for dancers; they can look at the reflections and correct lines that look awkward. In NUS, it’s the same as Singapore – there’s never enough space for the enthusiastic and growing number of dancers. However, we’re all friendly and happy bunch of people, different groups get along well enough. AS7 is divided into 5 practicing areas by unspoken rule. The larger crews take the larger spaces and duos or trios use the smaller areas.

7.05pm: Attendance is going to be taken soon. Hard luck to those who are late!

7.15pm: Warm ups start with gradual exercises before proceeding to basics such as bounces and grooves. At every practice, choreographers usually do a few different types of basic exercises. It amazes me how my seniors know so many different type of exercises. My brain’s hard disk certainly can’t contain them all. I think I’m not a naturally groovy person – I need to work hard at it.

7.30pm: Choreography for the item starts. Some people think this is the hardest segment of an item. With practice, I think it will be easier to catch steps

9.00pm: We take a short break before we attempt some blocking. Some of the boys’ shirts are soaked by now. Blocking is like doing formations in a dance performance. You can move to a formation using moving/travelling steps. Sometimes choreographers like to vary steps in a formation as well. You may have to face different directions or do floor work to introduce elements of variations that make a performance more interesting and dynamic.

Introducing different heights

10pm: Debrief finally! Our choreographer reminds us of the need to practice our show face for the item. What makes a performance stellar is that a dancer does not only do steps but performs the steps. Everyone can do steps but not everyone can perform. Do I make sense? Performing is about having the additional draw to lure the audience in with your expressions and emotions – how much commitment you devour into an item. I remember there were times I cried on stage when emotions overwhelmed me. That happened before, 3 times to be exact.

Telling my story through movements & expressions

10.30pm: Pack up and home sweet home! I think I will conk out on my bed the moment my head touches the pillow. Got to finish up those tutorials first!